Tenants on the starboard bow……


Hotels in space have been talked about as the next big (if not final) frontier for space tourism for some years. Some even predict that the first commercial ‘enterprise’ could open its door – or should that be airlocks – in 2020.

Drinking from the ‘astronomically’ priced mini-bar whilst orbiting the Earth at 17,000 miles per hour sounds great – but what if you feel like settling down for a while and finding your own personal lagrange point?

A hotel in low Earth orbit just won’t cut it.

What you need is a space landlord, one who knows his or her anti-matter containment device from their hyper-spanner. Who know’s you like 0.8 Earth gravity and exactly how you prefer your environmental controls set.

You need a certain type of individual, with loyalty, intelligence, dependability and perhaps a close friend with pointed ears and fashionable green blood.

That’s why to mark the 50th anniversary of the first US network broadcast of Star Trek 50 years ago we are asking the vital question:

Which Star Trek captain would make the best private landlord?

To make matters simpler we have limited the choices to Kirk, Picard, Janeway and Sisko*. To all of you fans of Commodore Wesley or Matt Decker (not to mention Capt. Archer) I sincerely apologise – but tough.

Vote here, or via the NLA’s twitter feed (@nationalandlord) and share your opinion.

The NLA’s opinion?

I know what you’re all thinking. Kirk. Obviously. He’s simply one of a kind. That’s certainly the ‘human’ heartfelt option. But to  consider the ‘logic’ of the situation is he really the best landlord? He’s loyal, decisive, knows a miracle worker of an engineer if the boiler breaks down. However, does he know the value of a Quatloo and could you trust him around female tenants?

On the other hand Janeway is smart, dedicated, great in a crisis – but away a lot and not the greatest to call for a quick response. I think residence in the Delta Quadrant really would make her absentee.

On that basis Sisko has the advantage of steady day job and the knowledge that he’ll probably be in when you call to say the roof’s leaking, but is he inspiring? Plus at some point he’s bound to want the house back when Jake goes off to uni.

Which leaves Picard. Steady, diplomatic, intelligent Picard. But can you really trust someone who has been assimilated by the Borg Collective? Also the 24th Century’s noted disapproval of the profit motive  casts doubt on his ability to run a viable business.

I’ll keep my vote to myself for now except to say; we went there, we went there boldly, we went there without splitting the infinitive.


*Yes, I know Sisko spent some time as a Commander, but he made it to Captain in the end.

One thought on “Tenants on the starboard bow……

  1. One very important warning that all PRS landlords should be warned against is the effect of rent payments becoming part of Universal Credit under the auspices of DWP.
    I only have had one Tenant come under the Universal Credit umbrella and found that there is no provision at Universal Credit for PRS landlords to contact anyone at Universal Credit when your Tenant decides to pocket the rent. You cannot get to anyone at Universal Credit as no specific office deals with a specific Geographical are.
    Even writing to Universal Credit through my Solicitors and my Local MP did not produces any answers. They refuse to answers your letters and on the odd occasion you manage to get a human being on the end of phone, you cannot get any answers or action. There is no provision made to make these Civil Servants answerable to us Taxpaying Private Landlords!
    In my case I had no remedy but to repossess the property through the Courts at a loss to me of over £ 3000 in May this year. Surprising The Universal Credit was still paying Housing Allowance to this Tenant in July/ August this year and perhaps still paying him! (rent for repossessed property)
    I am dreading when the Universal Credit takes over all the Housing Benefit payments as 80% of my Tenants are on benefits!

    Manu Patel

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